A month to go

 A month to go before our trip around the world begins, and my worries are multiplying. While friends and work colleagues express their best wishes and congratulations on our decision to go, and some even voice their jealousy in company memos, I am consumed by a whirlpool of worry and doubt. I still don't know if the journey will be liberating for us, or will it be a prison for 80 days on a ship we cannot leave? Can Albina and I keep up the routine of getting up in the morning, going for breakfast and maintaining necessary daily routines for 12 weeks, while the hours of the day change from day to day? There will always be the temptation for me to go off to breakfast on my own, and Albina to stay behind in bed, unless I stand over her, override her protests, and impress on her the need to get up and share breakfast with me. 

Also other concerns. I know I don't have sea legs for rough weather. Will I be plagued with sea sickness? How many suitcases can we take and where can they be stored on the vessel? On that last question I have sent a enquiry to Fred Olsen but not yet received a reply? I have also asked to find out what plugs are needed in the ship's electric sockets? EU or UK? 

I worry whether we can get all the medicines we will both need to last for, effectively, 3 months, and ensure the supply from both hospital and pharmacy in time to pack them all into appropriate pillboxes before the journey. I worry about the panicky packing before the trip, but, even more, the packing before the end of the voyage. Will we manage to do that in the last 3 days after leaving the Azores and before arrival at Souuthampton? We still need to get our jabs, but how will Albina react to them with her vulnerability to infection? Will I be able to return to work on the first Monday after we disembark at Southampton? Will I remember all the passwords and IT systems on my return, as well as all the varied rules for Arab export certificates of origin and for preparing carnets?

Will I still be able to complete all the outstanding community issues before I leave? I have just managed to write that invitation letter to Sadiq Khan to visit the POSK building in the spring, which I promised the POSK Chairman, but I still have to write a potted histrory of the Friends of Polish Veterans Association for their new website, which I also promised? That was a complex and painful history which I am frankly in the unique position of knowing the whole history, as I was the reluctant chairman of that organization for ten years. Just on Sunday I was roped in to an emergency meeting organized by Polish MP Joanna Fabisiak about how Poland can assist in relieving the acute social problems of the Polish diaspora in the UK and I contributed to the ideas, but I must avoid getting drawn in further. I have just heard of the sudden death of longtime Federation of Poles activist, Helena Miziniak, who died following a tragic accident in her garden? I will need to attend the funeral when I know the date, but I will not be drawn into any further commitments over commemorating her life.

And the biggest concern is the fact that for the first time in our 50 years of marriage, Albina and I will be together for those 80 days, without any interruption or distraction from outside, submitting ourselves to the discipline of the ship and the cramped conditions of what purports to be a luxury cabin with a balcony. Can we still survive that? Can love and common sense carry us through? Will we fight all the time? Will we both connect with other passengers and crew? Or will I be doing that on my own? Will we allow ourselves to enjoy the public facilities and the shows that the vessel's crew organize, or will be like recluses sticking to our cabin, detemined not to spend not a penny more than we have to? Certainly we both have no inention of celebrating any of the Formal Nights with a ludicrous black tie dress code, but I may want to enjoy the music and dancing. Possibly Albina will not participate even in that. I will try and enthuse her every day into going out and enjoying what the ship and the excursions have to offer. But will I be succesful. Most of the time when a party or event with riends crops up she says "Go. Go and enjoy yourself. I'm not up to it." I hope she does not repeat that on the boat. I guess I can harvest my doubts about her participation in advance, but hopefully they will not overwhelm our trip. Perhaps these doubts will become a forgotten nightmare as we enjoy this long luxury cruise that every one else is envying? Heigh ho! We have a holiday to enjoy. Let's get on with it.